Have you ever gone into a discussion, and finished it feeling defeated and did not manage to convince the other person with your point of view?
Were you ever speaking with someone, and ended up having a heated discussion with some awful things being said?
Did you ever feel after a discussion with someone that they went quietly however unconvinced?
If you answered yes to one or more of the following, then know that you are not a good negotiator and lack experience in the art of communication.
Note that entering any discussion without any solid and strong background and knowledge of the topic, will be useless and will not bring you any positive outcome.
The following six points will help you become a strong communicator and negotiator without going into useless discussions and make others feel uncomfortable or upset.
1. Let the other part SPEAK and tell you what they think
Make sure you don’t interrupt when he is speaking, by interjecting you will unconsciously make him not listen to you when its your turn to speak. The person who gets interrupted when speaking before he finishes, will only concentrate on what he wants to say rather than listen to what is being said. Giving the other person your attention will make him/her feel that you are taking their opinion into consideration and that will reduce their hostility towards your opinion.
2. STOP and wait before you speak
By pausing a few moments before speaking, you’ll show that you are taking in what is being said, and not jumping to show your disagreement aggressively.
3. Don’t aim to win 100%
Try and discuss your view in a convincing yet friendly manner. Don’t let him/her feel they are completely wrong, but use what they said in your argument, explaining at the same time what you mean. Use the expressions “I understand your point of view”, “ I appreciate what your saying and feel the same way”.
4. Discuss you case in a GENTLE yet in a professional manner.
Sometimes when we are faced with strong criticism we tend to react aggressively in response. Studies showed that this is the ultimate mistake any negotiator/communicator could make. However, taking criticism in a quiet and positive way could have a positive impact on your negotiation and people will tend to listen to what you say in response.
5. Speak through another person…
A good method to win your argument is bringing another person’s opinion in pressing your point.Try not to use the phrases “I believe” or “I think” a lot. However, try and use experiences and statements of other well known people if you can, also statistics and researches is a good idea.
6. Allow the other person to leave the argument dignified
A good negotiator/ Communicator will be able to allow his component leave feeling dignified and satisfied without feeling they lost a battle, but on the contrary by thinking they support your argument and have learnt something new. And that you did not mean by contradicting them anything personal, and you have won the argument only because you had a more practical view of the subject, more informative and a better grasp of the situation.